I know a singer-songwriter who thinks handshakes are stupid and refuses to do them.
I’ve never thought they were stupid, necessarily, but I’ve noticed that, in the music world, handshakes are done very often (and very creatively), and it’s taking some getting used to.
When I was in the high-tech marketing world, handshakes were done upon initial meeting and not again. Men and women would use handshakes when introducing themselves or getting introduced. Of course, it was the standard, bland, square, “white” handshake– nobody dared do anything fancier or “hipper”.
I also noticed that engineers and technical people were a lot less enthusiastic about handshakes and tended to want to get them out of the way, and salespeople a lot more enthusiastic about them and seemed to consider them a lot more important. Being part of the “nerd” tribe myself, I’ve never been much for handshakes, but found them useful as a tool to help remember someone’s name when meeting them. I got used to that, and it seemed comfortable.
Then I spent 7 years almost exclusively in the world of stay-at-home moms. I noticed that full-time moms don’t shake hands, even when meeting for the first time. The few (and proud!) of my fellow stay-at-home dads followed the mom’s convention; I don’t think I shook anyone’s hand for years unless it was someone’s husband I was meeting for the first time– following the business convention. So I’d gotten unaccustomed to shaking hands, and also formed the opinion that it was a “guy thing” that remained in the business world as a result of it having been male-dominated for so much of its history.
Then I got involved briefly in politics, and it was back to the business convention: handshakes when you meet someone, and men and women used them. And they tended to be executed with the “salesperson” level of enthusiasm, but again, only on meeting someone.
And, now that I’ve gotten back into the music world, it’s a lot more touchy-feely. Everyone shakes hands, and hugs, at the beginning and end of each rehearsal or gig, upon each casual meeting, even if you’ve just been working together the night before, and often in creative ways– hand slaps, soul handshakes, bumping knuckles, and sometimes combinations thereof.
I don’t know why this is. Maybe it’s because– unlike much of the business world which is more gender balanced– music remains largely a boy’s club. Maybe musicians are just more physical, warmer, and emotive. Maybe it’s because music is a lot more like sales or politics: it’s a people thing. Maybe it’s due to the strong influence of African-American culture in the music world. I have noticed that my use of the square, businesslike “white” handshake seems out of place and even gets odd looks occasionally, so I’m trying to loosen up and get used to the other variations. It’s definitely a different way of doing things, and that songwriter who dislikes handshakes is really swimming against the tide.
